Sunday, August 14, 2011

Living with Someone Who Has Pancreatitis

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Living with someone who has Pancreatitis can be a challenge.

One that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

In fact, because I was so sick at first and I was told by the only doctor who was able to diagnose my condition that I most likely did NOT have a future and since my wife wanted to have children and I felt so uncertain about my life and it seemed to me very selfish to make her go through it (I had watched my mom go through my father's cancer and death), and to expect her to give up what she wanted in life - I released her.

She was NOT happy about it but I really thought I was actually doing her a very big favor. And, I heard she met someone, got married and had kids and hopefully was very happy.

Now, I didn't say that is what someone else should do so don't even think I am insinuating the same course of action because I am not.

And I MEAN that.

Hell, I was probably wrong but given the exact same situation, that I faced then, I'd probably do exactly the same thing because there most likely was no future with me.

Anyway, back to the subject matter: Living with someone who has Pancreatitis

The subject matter was again keywords people are using to find my site so there must be quite a few folks looking for answers. Hopefully I can supply some decent ones that make sense.

Living on Borrowed Time and Scared to Death

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The first thing you need to understand is that someone who has Pancreatitis, unless they are in denial, knows they could be living on borrowed time. And true none of us knows when we'll die but some of us may not live as long as most. And it's a tad different than cancer because the moment of truth's realization could come tonight after their next meal.

At any time, without much warning, they could suffer Acute Pancreatitis which results in necrotizing pancreatitis, organ failure and death.

Pancreatitis is a conditon that can turn ugly real fast.

I tried to put that out of my mind, but, it was and still is always there.

If you remember I have previously shared that I visited the ER on 7 different ocassions. None of those visits had even close to satisfactory results or a hint of quality care.

The most that EVER happened was ONE blood draw and a shot of demerol, which did NOTHING to decrease the pain. Now ...

When I am sitting on the edge of the ER bed, leaning over, holding my guts in, sweating profusely, and panting like a damn dog from pain because there was no way I could lay down, hell I couldn't even sit still, you would think any moron could determine there was a need for more tests.

So, if your someone is receiving the same quality care I did (that was sarcastic) you need to understand that even if they portray an outside appearance of courage, they are probably scared to death.

That fear doesn't leave simply because the pain subsides.

Your spouse, child or significant other, deep down most likely has a very large feeling of impending doom. Even if they receive quality care they are probably in fear of the next episode and their uncertain future.

If they suffer from complications it is going to be that much worse.

They May Not Want to Be a Burden

They may not want to inconveinence you by asking you to cook them seperate meals from the rest of the family and so they eat what the family eats which is something that will make their pancreas very upset, probably cause more damage, even end their life.

I can't stress that enough so I am going to say it again ...

Most people are much nicer than me. And so when asked if something is ok for dinner (or breakfast or lunch), especially if they love it, they will most likely say: "you bet", eat it and suffer instead of telling you it isn't a good thing for them.

That is WHY, if you love them, you need to know exactly what a Pancreatitis victim should and should not eat. So study my Pancreatitis Diet because it means the difference between your loved one suffering, maybe dying, or living to enjoy more happy memories with you.

Now I am gonna be blunt.

Pay strict attention to my diet regimen.

I haven't written this blog to make money or become famous.

I am simply sharing what has actually worked for me and allowed me to become and stay pain free for the last 16 years except for ONE 3 week period when I was sicker than a dog because I poisoned myself with pork intestines. I did NOT read the label on the turkey sausage as well as I should have. The TURKEY sausage was in "pork casings" and I paid dearly.

If you listen to most doctors, nutritionists, or people on the web who have the condition and are not pain free you are going to keep your loved one suffering, I guarantee it.

I'm a bonafide walking-talking, pain free Chronic Pancreatitis victim and I can vehmently tell you that a strict Pancreatitis diet is absolutely imperative and if you vary from what I share with you on the subject of diet, you are basically poisoning your loved one.

How is that for blunt.

Guess what it ain't over yet cuz I ain't through.

I couldn't careless what doctors say in this regard.

I have read diet information on medical sites that make me cringe!

If people who suffer from Pancreatitis follow the food recommendations of most doctors and patients I have run across on the web it is no frickin' wonder they are still sick and in pain and damn lucky they aren't dead yet.

The NEXT point I want to make is:

If they aren't hungry - don't push food on them!

Loss of appetite is a BIG signal in Pancreatitis.

What it basically means is that the patient's pancreas is not in a good mood and doesn't wish to be disturbed!

Listen to the signal!

If your loved one eats, they will most likely PAY - and - get this - that payment could be a horribly painful death!

IF they are NOT hungry just let them be, don't make them feel bad because you spent hours cooking. It isn't their fault they aren't hungry or not feeling well, in fact, it may be yours because you make them feel they have to eat!

This use to happen to me ALL the time.

So you cooked a great meal.

So it took you hours.

I'm sorry, they are sorry, but get over it, let them be or you are gonna make them sicker than they already are.

For now I have run out of things to say so ...

Leave me a comment and show me you are still alive!

32 comments:

  1. i love a person of 27 yrs and iam 25yrs he has now experienced acute pancreatitis, tell me should i marry him..and can i lead happy life by marrying him..will the acute pancreatitis repeat again? plz help with straight answers?

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  2. Wow Leena ...

    I can not tell you what you should do in regards to marriage. I can only tell you that there is a chance he will experience repeat acute pancreatitis episodes and there is a chance he will never have another problem, though rare.

    So what if he does have more acute pancreatitis episodes? What if he does develop chronic pancreatitis? How much do you love him? Do you love him enough to stand by him and learn to help him live a fairly normal life eventhough he may suffer from pancreatitis? Yes, he may not be able to eat typical food and drink alcohol but that doesn't mean he can't love you or that you can't love him, does it?

    Leena, he is not responsible for your happiness. Happiness comes from within and whether he is sick or well you alone determine your happiness. Are you happy when with him? Do the moments you share create happy memories? Would you like to create more happy memories with him?

    Pancreatitis can become very debilitating, it will create problems (inconveniences for you in regards to cooking) and may cause him excruciating pain (IF he has a lot of damage or continues to do what causes acute pancreatitis and more damage) but then he never experience another episode.

    You see Leena I can't give you real concrete answers cuz I don't know his situation and I am not qualified to give medical advice or marriage counseling.

    I'm just a guy but ...

    How much do you love him? How much does he love you? What do you want? What does he want? Is your love for him strong enough to help you through the bad times if there are bad times due to pancreatitis illness?

    Only you and your guy can answer those questions, including yours that you asked me.

    Pray and ask for help in your decision so that you will make the right choice.

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  3. I'm glad I found this site. Was released last night after my first experience with acute idiopathic pancreatitis. Lipase went from 1830 when I was admitted to 4000 the next day. When I was released, they had dropped to 415. Today I just feel bloated and don't know exactly what I should eat. I thought if I ate a small turkey on wheat sandwich, even if I wasn't hungry, it would help with the intermittent pains in rib and back. I've got a lot to learn but appreciate your putting yourself out there to guide the rest of us. Will look into getting the supplements you mentioned.
    Thanks a bunch...

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    1. Hi bebe I am so sorry I missed this comment. Better late than never huh? Ya, umm a turkey sandwich right after being released from the hospital may not be such a good idea, in fact, I'd have said nothing but pre vegetable juice for 2 - 3 days and then IF you felt like you were starving you could try some rice and vegetables cooked without oil or fat of any kind. Read about my diet and learn from it. I hope you stay well. If I can help yell. I usually answer a lot faster than this!

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  4. hii.my boyfriend suffering from this disease and i m very tensed he is in icu from 9 days then also he is not well i love him very much i cant think my life without him .how can i cure him from this painful disease plz help me plz......suggest doctors in pune if any

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. I replied but my post was full of spelling errors so I deleted it - you can see it below with the spelling and grammar a bit better :-)

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  6. Hi there,
    I am sad to here that your boyfriend is suffering and I suspect I know what you must be going through being able to do little while watching him suffer with pancreatitis and I wish I could tell you that there is a cure for pancreatitis but the truth is ...

    There is no cure for pancreatitis.

    There is however certain things he and you can do to help heal his damaged pancreas as much as possible. You can find everything you need to know in order to accomplish that objective by reading every post on this blog.

    The more damage he has, the more time it will take to heal. Healing may or may not be possible. It will depend on whether or not you and he are willing to do what it takes for him to heal and on the extent of damage to his pancreas.

    Read this blog completely and understand this - I am not a doctor. I am just a guy who has been diagnosed with pancreatitis and learned what worked for me to enable my own healing. What I did and still do may or may not work for him and you and he, IF you use the info I share, use any and all info, any or all products that I myself use at HIS OWN RISK.

    Pancreatitis can be life threatening. People do die from it so unfortunately that's reality. He has to determine what is best for him. IF he's able have him read my blog too. Since you are a couple you both need to be on the same page. I may have simply been LUCKY and you and he both should and need to make your own decisions regarding the steps he takes towards healing. What worked for me may not work for him. I think that what I do will most likely work for many who actually do EXACTLY what I do but that doesn't mean I am right. I wish you and your boyfriend the best.

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    1. Thanks a lot for your very informative blogs! When you say heal, does that mean one can go back to a normal diet after a month/two when they're no longer in such pain? Or is the no fat/fried meals and alcohol something he should live with forever? How does one get a diagnosis that the pancreas has truly healed? Would spicy food, tomatoes, or pastas aggravate AP? My bf had his first attack a month ago and I don't want him to get sick again by cooking his favorites :/

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    2. Some people (very few) are REALLY lucky and heal up as though nothing ever happened but that is rare. Most can heal IF they do what they need to do (diet and supplements) but it isn't a cure and even though the pancreas healing may be really good a special diet (no or low fat, anti-inflammatory in nature, mostly vegan) will be a life-long necessity if the person wants to stay healed. Unfortunately ...

      Once the damage is done it can heal but for some reason doesn't seem to be what could be called a cure because without close adherence to diet and the pancreas will a gain inflame and who knows what the outcome will be. Most likely not good and almost assuredly more damage.

      Spicey food isn't bad. The enemies are FAT and alcohol.

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  7. My husband is 48 years old and was diagnosed with cronic pancreatitis in Febuary. But before i go on I first wasnt to say I found your Blog while looking through the millions of pancreatitis sites I have been looking at for 8 months now, and I must say I ABSALUTELY LOVE, LOVE, LOVE everything you have to say about this condition. I love the way you put things into perspective and tell the WHOLE truth like it or not. Your great. Now, my husband is 23 years older than me, and while we have only been married for 5 months now.....If I had the chance to go back in time, the only thing I would change is to be more educated on his condition. I wish I would have found your Blog a year ago when he was first diagnosed with pancreatitis. Maybe things could have turned out a little differently. However, while I knew how serious this was before we got married, I really didnt know the extent of it and the toll it takes on the family. But with that said If I had it all to do again, I would. Not only because he is the love of my life, a wonderful father to my children, and the most amazing man I have ever met. But after seeing the pain and agony, the worrie and stress this has had on him, I couldnt inagine anyone having to go through something like this alone. Now thats not saying that there hasnt been many...almost too many times that he has turned to me and said the he would let me go if I wanted to. but weather we have another month, year or 20 more years togeather or not......I cant inagine spending one day without him knowing what he has to go through on a day to day basis.
    I have got so much more information from your blog than I have form any other site I have been on yet. And believe me...I have been on alot. The information you give has gave me so much hope. Hope that I will have my husband for another 20 years and he will be able to walk his 3 beautiful girls down the isle one day. (hopefuly 20-30 years from now) But we as a family have hope now where 4 monthe ago we were just hanging on by a thread and talking about wills and life insurance and who will get what when he goes. I know the truth is that you never know. You never realy know what will tomorrow will bring, but at least now we know what we can do so tomorrow dosnt bring pain. I want to thank you for all your information and insight on Panceratitis.
    May GOD Bless you.
    Mandy Bradley

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    1. Thank you for the kind words Mandy. I hope you have your husband for a long time and that he does get to walk his girls down the isle. If ya have any questions just ask. I'll help if I can.

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    2. Thanks so much, I do have a question or two, but firs i want to say sorry for the misspelling in my first post. My husbands Dr. put him on Creon...but it is like $250. Because neither him or I are able to work, and the state of Florida is slower that molasses to help anyone who needs any sort of finachial help...we cant afford it right now. I was wondering if the enzyme you take would maybe supplament the Creon ro not? Also, unsweetend white grapefurit juice is the only kind of grapefruit juice, correct? I ask this cause i have not been able to find it yet. All I have found so far has all kinds of other additives in it. I woud guess that he could get the same affect if i just juice grapefurit at home for him, but what do you think? Again thanks for all the info. Mandy Bradley

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    3. I use "Super Enzymes" by Now Foods. They are pretty cheap yet very effective. I do NOT know whether they are as effective as Creon because I have never taken Creon but I do know they work for me and work really well.

      Unsweetened white grapefruit juice is what I use. There is pink grapefruit juice and other kinds with added sugar but I use white unsweetened. I do NOT know if any other grapefruit juice would be as effective.

      I prefer Ocean Spray white unsweetend grapefruit juice and I get it at Safeway. The Safeway brand is ok, Ocean Spray seems to be more like fresh squeezed. And yes, you could always buy white grapefruit and squeeze it. At the price of grapefruit, at least around here, that may get expensive compared to buying it already made but whatever works best for you guys. Another option is grapefruit seed extract. I have never used it so I can not tell you it works BUT the actual study that I cited for the reason why my acute pancreatitis attacks stopped after using grapefruit juice for awhile (they found out grapefruit worked some 20 years? after me)actyually used grapefruit seed extract which is made from seed, pulp and juice.

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    4. Thank you so much! My mom found the Ocean Spray White Grapefurit juice and to my surprise he loves it. But we live in a rinky dink town and have to drive 20 miles to the closest supermarket, thats why I couldnt find it. He has been having an attack for a few days now but I dont believe it has gotten to severe yet cause he hasnt asked to go to the hospitial yet.But he started drinking the grapefurit juice since yesterday and I am just tring to keep him in bed with nothing to eat,so maybe a few more days it will pass. He had a bad reaction to ibproffen once before,so i am scared to give it to him. I am going to go get all the supplements you recomended tomorrow though. Again, thanks for all the info. Mandy Bradley

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    5. You are welcome but it doesn't sound like your husband is doing well. Some people are allergic to Ibuprofen. If he can take aspirin 4 aspirin (325mg each) will do almost as well. Since I'm a week late with this reply how is he doing?

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  8. Hey Healty Guy...just started reding your blog.i've been fighting for 1 1/2 yrs with Drs & no one yet will tell me the bad news.i've been 3 GI docs,3interest, liver Dr.had mri, blood work to sink a ship...4 sugar tests..3 ultrsounds 1CT scan...nothing.I do know for sure because I know my body that I have crontic pancreititic & I know I've had it for yrs.I had a very bad attack 1yr ago but docs in er did nothing.I'm just now turning the corner to nausea I've had the pain on & off for years but it's constant for over a yr...I'm at the end of my rope.i'll start your diet this week...just moved to India not sure what I'll be able to find here...thx

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    1. Are you saying you are having difficulty obtaining a diagnosis? By far the easiest way would be to go into and ER after you have been in an attack for 2 hours and ask them to draw your P-amylase not just total amylase and of course lipase as well however lipase often doesn't rise until 4 hours in. Those two enzymes along with urinary trypsin 2 should definitely confirm.

      Good luck to you and I wish you better health.

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    2. I'm such a ninny - I meant have them draw blood and check P-amylase and lipase and take a urine sample for trysin 2. All three would clearly indicate acute pancreatitis however just higher than normal high P-amylase and lipase should be sufficient.

      IF you have chronic pancreatitis damage may not show on CT scans. There is such a thing as minimal change chronic pancreatitis here's a link to some info minimal change chronic pancreatitis

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  9. Forgot to tell you I'm starving all the time....am I crazy....living in India

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  10. I'm not sure if this will be a duplicate post I'm having trouble posting on here, if it is I apologize. First I want to thank you for this site! I am so excited to know that you are pain free and you offer so much hope! Ok so here's my situation I'm 30 yrs old I was told I had pancreatitis 5 years ago shortly after having my gallbladder removed. My doctor at that time told me it wasn't a big deal and I didn't need to worry. He said that the inflammation would go down on its own and I would be fine. So I didn't give it any thought. Well in the past 5 years I have been to the ER countless times with severe abdominal pain, vomiting, nausea and on few occasions with severe swelling of my abdomen. Most times I was sent home without any answers and other times I was told I had gastritis. In this time I developed diabetes and in the past 3 months have become insulin dependent(5 shots a day) my tryglicerids are 1400 and are not responding to meds. I have a scope in a few hours and I'm scared to find out the extent of damage. Do you have any ideas on how bad things might be since its gone on for so long without treatment?

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    1. I bet you'd like to shoot that doc who told you pancreatitis is no big deal huh?

      In regards to your damage - I have no idea - it could be worse than it was that is for sure. Obviously if you are now diabetic and were not diabetic 5 years ago it would lead a prudent person to believe more damage, specfically to your islet cells, has occured but I'll leave that to your doctors to determine.

      Since you have probably now been scoped again you probably know more than you did before.

      All I can suggest is to find a GOOD doctor. I know that is a difficult task but make sure you do. Good luck :-)

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  11. Thank you so much for this info, my husband loves my cooking but i am willing and ready to put us in a strict diet so that this does not happen again. This is his first time in the ER for this problem i was always afraid when he had to much to drink that he would go the same road as my father did. My father did not stick to his diet and ended up with diabetes and died a few years after but my mother suffered dearly because he liked to drink and eat what he knew was bad for him, she spent most of his last years in and out of the hospital. I do not plan to suffer like that so my sons and i will do an intervention after he is release from the hospital and talk to him about how long to you want to live pain free?

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    1. Thank you for visiting Stella. He definitely needs to quit drinking or make sure he has a casket and plot ready for his permanent vacation. I wish you best wishes and good luck during the coming year.

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  12. I'm so glad I found this site. My boyfriend was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis last year. He's 29 yrs old. We've been in and out of the hospital since January of last year. His pancreas was necrotic and after all the meds and PIC line all the pain subsided and he was doing great until a couple of weeks ago when it hit him hard. We were in the hospital for 7 days and finally got out wednesday. He put himself on a liquid diet because that's about all he could stomach and last night was the worst. out of no where it hit him. Come to find out he has fluid around his pancreas. He stopped drinking after the first time in the hospital and hasn't picked up a drink since. Unfortunately this has all occurred from inheriting bad genes which we found out last week. I've found this site so helpful. I've been researching everything I can about pancreatitis. I can't thank you enough for writing this.

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    1. Thanks and you are welcome. I'm sorry to hear your boyfriend is not well, pancreatitis sucks. If you have questions ask. If I know the answer I'll tell ya.

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  13. Thank you soo much for posting so much information! My boyfriend has been in the hopsital now for 2 months, he had necoritizing pancreatitus at a very severe level, i have been told by doctors that initially he had 90% mortality rate. He is doing well now and almost finished with his surgeries (#10 now). ANyways my question is what kind of things I can expect after he gets home from the hospital. Most of the information here is in regards to acute pancreatitus, and I'm wondering if there is anyone who has some experience dealing with life after necrotizing pancreatitus. I realize that the importance of diet will come into play, but as his recovery time in the hospital will still take another 2-3 months, i guess i am just curious if anyone has any insight or wisdom that they might share with me. thanks

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    1. Hi Scully. Actually most of this site is geared to chronic pancreatits because that is what most contend with after damage by acute pancreatitis but there is some posts about acute panc because those with chronic end up with acute again if they don't watch their p's and q's. In fact ...

      The above post has to do with exactly what you asked - what can you expect.

      What you can expect is the need to learn how to cook all over again because conventional cooking will make him sick.

      You'll also need to understand that if he doesn't feel well he shouldn't eat.

      FOOD is not his friend especially after the damage he has sustained. And like this article says if he isn't hungry and hasn't been for a few days don't go forcing food on him because you will most likely make him sicker.

      I guess very simplified - you can expect him to be sick. With that amount of damage and number of surgeries he is lucky to be alive and it'll take a long time to recover and he may likely never be well but miracles happen!

      I know that probably isn't what you wanted to hear but it's reality.

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  14. Health Guy, I've been reading your posts a lot lately and just want to say thank you and that you're a strong dude! You have to be to deal with this. I guess it was about two months ago I had an attack of acute pancreatitis. It was the night I graduated from college and I went on a serious drinking binge, you know the one where you're spinning when you close your eyes, I passed out before I could throw it up. Anyway, the following day I went to a friends family picnic, had a few beers there to kill my hangover and idiotically jumped on a kids skateboard and took quite the fall. I was a little shaken up but toughed it out. A couple hours later my stomach felt funny and lasted for a couple days making me believe I had the flu until I woke up one morning with severe pain in the chest after eating? that's right you guessed it, a pork steak. I was in the ER overnight and released. I believe I sustained some permanent damage because it's been 2 months and I have symptoms of CP (i.e. steatorrhea and slight weight loss), even though I don't really feel any pain, but I eat healthy and always have. I have an appointment with a GI doc next week and I'm sure he'll stick a camera down my throat to see what's going on. My poor mother, she's had it rough, I feel particularly bad because my older brother screwed his life up and all of her chips are on me. I don't mean to rant my friend I've just had an overload of thoughts these past couple weeks. I'm 23, before this happened I felt great and now all I can think about is T.S. Elliot's passage "I was there the moment my greatness flickered, I saw the eternal footman hold my coat, and snickered, and in short, I was afraid." And that's exactly how I feel now. I feel if this thing ever got nasty I'd have to off myself, but I have too many people here I love and too many dreams and aspirations to just cash in my chips and say fuck it. But nevertheless, the picture in my head that I had of my future is fading because of this and I'm trying to dig deep. My hat's off to you for pulling it off. So here, a few questions. If the doc sees any kind of obstruction going on in the duct that might be causing this steatorrhea and wants to do some kind of stent should I tell him thank you but no thanks? And just try to get serious about a diet plan? That leads me to my next question. I know eating healthy is key to longevity and a healthy life, and I've always espoused that, but, I watched that video you posted with Charlotte Gerson and I'm thinking about maybe pursuing that as a healing alternative but I want to know your thoughts on how effective that might really be for something like this? I mean are the testimonials really true? I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since this happened and man it's hard. I can live without not being able to drink (which wasn't anymore than anyone else my age, maybe I'm in denial) but I can't live without a good quality life. One more question, I don't really like marijuana, but it's kind of hard for me to think of going the rest of my life, short-lived or not, completely abstinent, and I'm thinking this might be a "good" alternative to drinking on the weekends. What are your thoughts? Once again sorry for the rant, I know you didn't ask about my struggles, but I needed to get this off my chest. Again, thank you for sharing the knowledge you've gained over the years on this, it's been helpful. P.S. is NA beer also a no no? I just like the taste.
    Thanks,
    Mike

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    1. Hi Mike - sorry you have this crap. Pancreatitis sucks but you can get a handle on it and control it. You can heal your pancreas as long as someone hasn't scarred the hell out of you.

      Obout the stent - I can't tell you what to do. If it were me? I doubt I'd let anyone do that to me but that doesn't mean I am right. You have consider all the data in regards to your own case and then do what YOU think is right and makes sense.

      In regards to Charlotte Gerson and the Gerson Therapy I can only say thaat I posted that video because it resonated with me NOT because I know it to be a life saving therapy when it comes to cancer which it was designed for. I do not know if any of the testimonials are real. What I do know is that juicing is a great way to begin healing the pancreas and juicing should be the first method of introducing food to the pancreas after acute pancreatitis not what orthodox medicne does by feeding people a full course meal or even a snadwich after being NPO for several days or more.

      Vegetable and fruit juices seem to be well tolerated when the pancreas is damaged and/or still inflamed. It is easily digested and full of nutrients.

      In regards to marijuana I see know reason to avoid it if that's your thing in fact I know a CP patient who swears by it and says it helps relieve his pain.

      Alcohol free beer should be used with caution. I only say that because who knows if it is really alcohol free? People lie. Labels lie, manufacturers, sales people, and brewers lie. Everybody lies, except me. I always tell the truth even when I lie. I would be cautious. It doesn't take a lot of alcohol to cause a problem.

      I wish you good luck Mike.

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  15. Hi all, after 3 months of my marriage i got to know that my husband is suffering from chronic pancreatitis.Acutal ly he is suffering from 2004 and had not informed about it before marriage to me or my family.After getting to know we took him to doctor and he prescribed Creon 25000 tablet and glycomate tablet and he was suffering from erectile dysfution and hemoroids too....he was under treatment of both english medicine and ayurvedic,he and his family was never serious about his health and never had balanced diet.can any one tell me that what may be his health status down the line of 5 yrs and is it proper to marray with out informing about his health?

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    1. What happens to him today, tomorrow and 5 years from now is totally up to you and him. If he isn't dead yet there's hope.

      I'm not a marriage counselor, this isn't a site that handles legal issues or even tries to do so. So whether or not he should have told you he had pancreatitis is not an issue I want to pursue. The above article delves into "partnership" issues as far I am I going to go.

      Good luck to you both :-)

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